You and I grow up with many goals, dreams thinking life is going to be a bed of roses and life is just a walk in the park and we dreamt and thought life was all about meeting your soulmate, driving a beautiful car alongside the coastline watching the sunset, hiking the mountains to see the sunrise, having a glamorous career, happy life, jet setting everywhere; But wait! It is not as smooth sailing as you think. There are always ups and downs and as you’re working towards achieving your dreams and goals, all of a sudden life hits you and life punches you with the tagline; LIFE HAPPENS!
Regardless of life trials and tribulations, losses and tragedy, life will break your heart, break you emotionally, physically, mentally and even your spirit. News that you’re not prepared to hear; like the loss of an opportunity, losing your loved ones, being financially broke, the pain of betrayal, conflicts in the family and etc…
Recently Pandemic happened across the world and broke many lives apart, People losing their mental peace, living in solitude and confined to the 4 walls of their homes, there’s loss of jobs, income and the list goes on…
Worse, some countries are at war, men, women and children are scarred and scared for their lives…
You’re not alone. All of us have gone through something in our life where the pain is unexplainable and excruciating. It’s so hard to a point you even find breathing is also difficult, you struggle to get up, you struggle to face your daily routine…..
At one point you ask, why me god? Why? What did I do to deserve such pain?
What do you do when everything else seems to fail and break you to pieces and you start giving up on life?
Any stories of yours are meant to be fuel. On my personal front, I’ve gone through my own share of pain, grief, heartbreak, loss of a golden opportunity and most of the time I was able to bounce back but 2 years ago one incident shook the epicenter of my very existence.
I lost my mother…
I coiled myself in pain in agony for few weeks but as time passes by; I started asking myself, how long more? How long you’re going to weep? How long you’re going to continue to be like this?
The world doesn’t revolve around me, the world moves on; but for me, I am still stuck there crying, not moving on and blaming the whole world for it except myself…
It finally dawns on me that I have responsibilities, I have mouths that I need to feed, I have a job, I have people depending on me and I have friends families colleagues loved ones waiting for me to emerge from this emotional wreckage… so what did I do, how did I move forward….
I started small by writing a list of things I’m grateful for daily (my best friend told me to do that) I followed what she said blindly because all I wanted was to come out from this pain, this void and I’m exhausted of being so negative.
Then slowly I start shifting my focus, learning to accept the pain, learning to adapt and within two months I started to breathe better. I stopped crying regularly and I realized gratitude list, practicing mindfulness and being compassionate to yourself works…
I start going back to the gym, to my coaches and gym gang, back with my hiking group and my running gang… that’s my happy place and start seeing the positive changes in me….
Reading has always been a part of me, but this time I have shifted my reading towards nonfiction and spiritualism… Sai SatCharitra is something I read most of the time since 2005 but I made it a point to read it daily no matter how busy I am… I held strongly to Shirdi Baba and my faith never wavered not even once. Not even when my mother passed away. Till today I’ve never question god on her passing because I truly believe from god we came to god we return. Hope kept me moving but my faith in Baba kept me strong…
Then my birthday came in June and my family and friends made sure I was showered and wasn’t left alone and I’m truly grateful to have such a strong circle of family friends and loved ones. They have always been there and will always continue to be my strong support system.
With the blessings of the universe; 8 months after a huge void, I was given the opportunity to practice yoga under Master SK Durai and despite not being able to do most of the asana, I still find myself grinning all the time inside. The joy of having a guru who is so true to his teachings, the joy of learning the sacred art and knowledge and also the people I met in the class. The smile comes easily these days and Yoga has given me so much happiness and changes which I’m eternally grateful to my master and teacher and I also thank my yoga gang for tagging alongside me when I said let’s go and join yoga!
I realized at that moment how blessed I am….
All the coping mechanism is a continuous process on yourself because challenges or pain will always be there and we are after all, human… but it is how look at life and how you work to move forward is very important.
Every human has what it takes to get past whatever they are going through if they decide to. No matter how many times you fail, there is within you a spirit that’s greater than whatever is going around you. Fight your way through your loss, the grief, the heartbreak because at the end of it you know you will fight it through. You’ll rise above it like how the phoenix rises from the ashes. Never stop believing in your life goals. One of Martin Luther King Jr’s quote that’s always etched to my heart, if you can’t fly then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then you crawl. But whatever you do, you just have to keep moving forward.
Life is so beautiful yet at the same time life is hard but please remember that even in darkness there will be love and light.
There’s this picture which was taken in Angkor wat (It’s a picture of sunrise) and I was with my parents and brother. It’s very close to my heart because whenever I see this picture, I hear my mother’s words telling me; Sunrise is Hope. A new hope, a new page, a new beginning, a fresh start. Each day is born with sunrise, open your eyes mind body and soul to feel the light and begin your life with the thought that millions of miracles happen daily!
And remember, When life breaks you apart, you tell life that you’re unbreakable and you have no fear! achamillai achamillai achamenabathu illaye!
Author
Shangkary Nadarajan
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